Alone in the Dark
by Solanacea
Summary: Now this is the resolution. Logan opens up about his dark past! CHAPTER11 up! Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All the characters and the story concept are property of J.Cameron/C.Eglee. I have been inspired by many other fanfics. This is my own interpretation.  
  
  
  
Alone in the Dark  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
  
Logan was sitting at his desk in front of his computer hacking away over some case of major fraud that was going on in some charity institution in Seattle. Lately he had discovered that some of the company's shareholders were stealing money, which was supposed to help terminally ill children, so that only a small amount actually reached its destination. Most of the money simply disappeared through various transfer actions. And that was only a very small part of a much bigger picture. It had taken him all night and most of the previous day to locate the missing money which was distributed on various bank accounts al over the world.  
  
Finally, he was making his way through the countless security codes of the bank companies through which the bastards were washing the money. When he eventially got access to the account he was looking for he started to study the entries trying to determine which of the transfers matched the missing amount of the charities general account. He was so indulged in the numbers that he did not hear the key that was turned in his door lock.  
  
When finally the sound of heavy steps reached his ears he, he did not even bother to turn around to see who was coming.  
  
"Hey, Mr. Eyes Only" Bling said, "am I wrong to assume that you haven't moved an inch from that very spot since I left you last night?" Logan didn't bother to answer. This case was just to hot for him to be distracted now.  
  
Bling dropped the shopping bags onto the counter and walked over to Logan's office. "Hey, man, have you stopped talking?! I brought some fresh rolls and some fruits. So we can get something decent to eat before we start your workout. And I even found." he trailed of when Logan still seemed to ignore him.  
  
He knew that Logan was often completely taken in by his work, forgetting everything around him. Forget to eat, drink, even forgetting to sleep, which seemed to be the case this time. His dedication was really over the top some times.  
  
Suddenly there was a flicker on the screen followed by the message: ACCESS GRANTED, which prompted Logan to call out with satisfaction. He had finally busted the code he needed to make his own little transactions, to send the money back to where it belonged. "That's it!" he exclaimed finishing up the transaction and shutting down the connection quickly, so that no one would be able to trace him.  
  
He yawned and turned around to finally face his friend. Bling threw him a puzzled look: "Finally found what you were looking for?!" He sounded a little bit pissed of. Even as patient man as he was, the 'Logan Cale, Savior of the World' attitude of his boss and good friend could enrage him from time to time.  
  
"Hey Bling, what's up?" Logan uttered as if the tall black man had just sneaked him behind his back some seconds ago. Bling just stood there silently watching him stretch and bend backwords in his chair in an attempt to loosen his strained muscles. He could see him flinch with every move.  
  
In fact, he couldn't help to notice how miserable his friend looked, not having slept at all. Again. He decided not to make a big deal of it, however as his physical therapist he still felt responsible for Logan's well-being.  
  
"Breakfast?" he asked again. "Let me just make a phone call and finish this." Logan said, as he turned around again to shut down his computer.  
  
Without a word Bling walked over to the kitchen counter and started preparing breakfast.  
  
Logan shut down his computer and wheeled over to the kitchen. He grabbed the newspaper Bling had brought and started to look trough it in search of new victims of the cruel and corrupt system who needed to be saved. While he leafed through the pages he constantly moved his head from one side to another in an attempt to straighten his neck muscles up again. It sent a constant ache up into his head and down his spine up to the point where the bullet had cut all nerve connections, wiping him of his feet. The very site were his spinal cord had been severed was emitting a burning sensation right now, which got worse with every move of any muscle in his back. He groaned and put down the paper to stop the unpleasant movement and watched Bling busy fumbling with the blender instead. Wow, he had even found some grapefruits-which were a very rare thing these days. The last time he'd eaten one of those had been his birthday, when Max had brought him one as a present: He smiled at the thought of her always having her ways to get whatever she wanted.  
  
Bling had finished preparing their breakfast an placed a plate in front of Logan who had moved to the dining room table.  
  
"Here we go! Let's recharge our batteries before we get to work. Do you think you can manage without falling asleep on there?" Bling asked with a slight grin and a nod towards the small training unit in the middle of the apartment. He had put up shortly after the accident-or rather shoot-out. Logan's enemies had literally chased him down. Bling could still remember the newspaper headlines.. Many people had died. Logan had been a lucky guy. The irony of this thought flashed through his mind.  
  
It had been a long hard way for Logan up to this point. Bling had met his new 'job' four weeks after the shooting. He was not part of the regular hospital staff, who did the regular daily physiotherapy for imobilized patients, he was more like a private trainer. Not many people could afford that, but this guy seemed to bathe in money. From what he had read in his file he had undergone a five hour surgery as the doctors tried to retrieve the bullet from his spine. They had removed most of it but there were still some splinters left I there.  
  
The bullet had hit his spine at the height of TH 8, which meant that his back muscles, pectoralis and probably part of the upper abdominal muscles would still be working, -to which degree, he would have to find out. Bowel and bladder control were things to deal with and sexual function.well, there would be no feeling below his belly button, maybe a bit further down on his back.  
  
But for now the thing to do was get the guy out of bed, give him back some independence and get him motivated to work on the resources he had left. After four weeks the phase of the initial spinal shock should mostly over, and the spasticity be gone, so that they would be able to do some good rehab now. The first two weeks were a constant fight, with Logan as miserable and bitchy as he was. They were taking a day at a time, often rather doing two step back than a step ahead. Logan had been in a deep depression and it had required all of Bling's patience and psychological and rhetoric abilities to get him start fighting to get back on his feet or rather into the chair for once. Even that required a lot of practice and patience. Not having any sensation and muscle power below his waist it had not been easy for Logan to keep his balance and not trip over with every move he made.Bling sighed, as he thought of the endless fights and discussions and pep talks of the past months. It had never been fast enough for Logan. He wanted everything all at once. He would get eager to reach a new goal, then overdo it and with every little setback he would fall back into a new depression. He wanted to push it and get out of there, to actually walk out of there but it just was not the way it worked. For a long time he was denying that he had a permanent at all, and to a certain degree, Bling thought that was still the case. How do they say? Hope is frail but hard to kill? No doubt about that! Everybody needed hope-but this was about acceptance and adjusting at his new circumstances. To come to peace with oneself. His friend was still a long way from that, he knew. The sound of the newspaper, being put down, interrupted his thoughts.  
  
Meanwhile, Logan had finished his breakfast and gulped down his glass of grapefruit juice. "Well, I'm done. You might want to finish your breakfast while I'm dipping my head in some water and getting changed." Then he wheeled out of the room leaving him to clean away the dishes. As eager as Logan was to do everything on his own, when it came to household chores he still was the spoiled rich boy, who needed to be cleaned up after, Bling thought with a mental shake of his head.  
  
  
  
PS: This is not my first story, but my first published one. Please review and let me know if you like it. I don' know yet where this is going, but I'll find out along the way. After all this is all about the fun of writing! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: See chapter 1  
  
Hi there! First of all thank you very much for your reviews. I'd like to apologise for the confusing changes in tenses and all the other mistakes. After all, English is not my first language, so my grammar is not that good. But I'll try to improve it. And hopefully I'll soon figure out how to structure the texts, in order to make them easier to read.  
  
By the way- I did not tell where exactly in season 1 this story begins as I don't want to be compromised by what has happened yet- or hasn't. You'll find out along the way.  
  
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Chapter 2  
  
After Bling had cleaned the dishes and Logan had finally emerged from the bathroom, they started their daily therapy session. They began with some easy stretching. Logan stretched his upper body, while Bling worked on his legs.  
  
After some minutes of boring repeats, Logan impatiently leaned over and reached for some weights that were settled on the bars at the side of the bench. A sharp pain shot through his upper back. He flinched and let go of the weight which banged back onto its bar. Bling let go of his leg and threw him a pissed look.  
  
"I would appreciate you concentrating on what's going on down here, you can do your weights later!" he declared.  
  
Logan let go of the weights but Bling caught him roll his eyes.  
  
"What is it?" he blurted. "This does not work just by the way! You have to concentrate and help me, all right?!" He was really getting angry now. Logan's 'I could not care less' attitude which he had been displaying ever since Bling had walked through the door was getting on his nerves.  
  
"Hey man, calm down, no need to shout!"...Logan answered, adjusting his position. He was tired and grumble and the only thing he could think of right now was going to bed.  
  
".And concentrate on what?" he added grumbly. "My stupid legs? I don't even feel them, remember??!"  
  
He crossed his arms in front of his chest, nearly loosing balance on the table. He quickly grabbed the edge of the bench, to catch his fall. Embarrassed he looked down at his feet, which were now dangling lifelessly in front of him.  
  
"I am tired of this, " he exclaimed. " It's just a waste of time anyway."  
  
Bling stood up and towered up before him. Here we go again!, he thought.  
  
"Whoa, wait a minute", he said, trying to calm his voice as much as possible, "so we are back at pitying ourselves again? I thought we were done with that!?-.. Maybe you want me to leave you alone, so you can fully concentrate on your misery?!" he added harshly.  
  
Logan's jaw tightened and he averted his eyes, only to stare at the blank wall in front of him, avoiding to look into his therapist's eyes.  
  
Bling had seen this look a thousand times before. He knew he had hurt his friend's feelings. But this had proved to be the only way to get him focused again, in situations like this.  
  
"So can we go on now?" He finally broke the silence. "With more concentration this time?"  
  
Logan quietly nodded and they went on with their exercise. None of them saying a word, they now both concentrated on the workout. But within a short time, the look on Logan's face grew more and more tense and when Bling finally started stretching his legs again he flinched with every move.  
  
Bling stopped and turned his face up to his friend.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Yep "   
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Sure!" Logan said harshly. He definitely would not get himself into another lecture.  
  
Reluctantly, Bling went on, but when Logan finally groaned aloud at one of the moves, he let go and shook his head.  
  
"Well, would you finally let me know what's wrong?"  
  
Logan turned to avoid that darting look Bling threw at him. He did not want to get into one of those discussions again. He'd lose them anyway.  
  
"What's the matter?.." Bling would not let him go that easily.  
  
"Nothing" Logan snapped.  
  
Bling shook his head, not believing Logan's stubbornness.  
  
"You're in pain." It was more of a statement than a question, as it had been that obvious.  
  
Logan sighed and eventually faced Bling again. "My neck feels as hard as a piece of wood and it sends a burning sensation up my back every time you straighten my legs" he admitted matter of factly.  
  
Bling immediately put off that tough expression and looked worried.  
  
"No wonder after a night without sleep sitting in front of the computer! Your muscles must be stiff as hell," he remarked  
  
"You bet they are!" Logan replied, waiting for another lecture to follow. Luckily, Bling did not seem in the mood for this either.  
  
".But why the heck does I feel it in my back when you move my legs?!"  
  
Bling took a second to think. "I guess each time I move your legs I sort of stretch the nerve connections to your spinal cord. The tractive forces are transmitted to the intact nerves in your back, which are irritated even more and send signals to your brain."  
  
Logan nodded with a weary smile. "Thanks Doc!"  
  
Bling smiled back and reached out for a towel. "So let's stop this for today. You're up for a massage instead. Not that you deserve it.! He trailed of, his expression showing that he was joking.  
  
"Great." Logan said with a relieved sigh as he grabbed the towel and transferred himself to his wheelchair.  
  
  
  
************* Half an hour later, Logan was deeply asleep. Bling had thoroughly worked his stone hard muscles until he had felt like he had just been beaten up. He had never thought that a massage could be that painful! But in the end- after Bling had applied some analgesic ointment, Logan had felt at least half-human.  
  
Bling had let himself out, after having Logan promise that he would be in better shape tomorrow and Logan had drifted into a deep coma-like sleep.  
  
In his dream he was at his uncle's cabin by the lake. He was a little boy, running around, playing hide and seek with his sister.  
  
Melissa, -only two years older than him- had always thought up the best hiding places. They would go out into the woods to play hide and seek ever time they came there.  
  
One day, Melissa had hidden on a boat that was tied at the shore of the lake.  
  
He was leaning against a tree, counting till 30-that was as far as he could count.  
  
But by the time he had come to look for her, the boat had loosened and she was drifting out onto the open water.  
  
Oh my god! Mommy, Daddy! The boat, Lissy is in the boat...  
  
He had run inside to get his parents and their father had rescued his sister, who was just sitting there in the boat- alert but still quietly observing the scene. Logan had been crying, his mom had been nearly historical, but Lissy had just sat there until her father had reached her.  
  
  
  
"Don't cry Logan," she said. "Look, nothing happened, I'm all right! Everything is okay!"  
  
She had always been like this. Calm and quiet, and incredibly mature.  
  
And she almost never cried. He had always adored her for that. Whereas he was crying and yelling about every little scratch or bump, she had merely ever drawn a face.  
  
"It's okay, Logan, don't cry!"  
  
The picture of the cabin and the lake faded from his view and his memory led him to a place he hated more than his worst enemy.  
  
He was standing in a small hospital room. The windows were open and a light breeze was tearing at the white sheets.  
  
He caught his trail of thought or rather feeling again, which was lingering above him, above the little boy who was standing in that empty sterile room.  
  
Fear, confusion, despair.But no tears.  
  
Even when Lissy was in the hospital, dying, she did not cry. She was only ten years old.  
  
He was standing in her hospital room, looking for her, trying to detect the faint but constant beeping of the machines. But there was nothing but silence.  
  
She was gone.  
  
It's okay. I'll be fine. No need to cry.  
  
He tried not to cry either. He was sad, but it was like an unspoken promise to his sister that he would be as strong as she had been..all the time.(don't cry) .even then.(don't cry). even now.he would not let her down.  
  
Images kept on flashing in through his mind:  
  
Lissy chasing him at the cabin.. The white, sterile hospital room.. Lissy's smile..the boat drifting away from him.Silence.  
  
Don't cry.  
  
A sudden sound tore him from his dream. The pictures became more and more unclear. Slowly he trailed back to reality. But still he was too tired and exhausted to fully weak up.  
  
There is still some part missing. He knew the dream still had to go on. No! Don't wake up now, Logan.  
  
He needed to know the end. But he could not get his mind back to where it had just been. The pictures faded. Finally, only a slight trail of those strange emotions was clouding in his head, increasing his heartbeat, forming a lump in his throat, as his body was slowly waking up.  
  
Still half asleep, he tried to shake of that awkward feeling and tried to focus to identify where the noise had come from.  
  
It was the sound of soft steps pacing through his apartment. Then he heard the sweet but determined voice of their owner, calling his name. "Logan!. Logan!? Anybody here?"  
  
******************  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------- Well that' s it for chapter 2. It's not very long, but I did not want to wait to post it. Hope you liked it. Please review!!!! I'd like to know what you think-god or bad-, whatever! 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: see chapter 1  
  
Hi there! Glad you're still reading this! I have the story pretty much figured out in my head. Just have to find a way to write it out. But I'm trying. Please review! It can really make my day to know people are reading this.  
  
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Chapter 3  
  
  
  
Max! Once again she had sneaked in without ringing the doorbell.  
  
Logan tried to focus on reality, leaving the upsetting and confusing dream he had just had behind. The bitter and desperate feeling was still lingering in the back of his head. He could still sense the nagging fear inside his chest, feel his heart beat at a maddening pace.  
  
He forced himself to concentrate on his surroundings; Okay, he was in his bedroom, blinds half closed, door left open a crack, like he always did it, to make sure no one could sneak in on him unnoticed.  
  
Okay then, he reminded himself. Everything's all right. It was just a bad dream. Just calm down already!  
  
He felt that his mouth was as dry as a desert, whereas his shirt was clinging at him, all sweaty and soaked. Then he heard the voice again.  
  
"Logan?! I'm starving! Got anything to eat?"  
  
Logan struggled to sit up, untangling the sheets, hastily transferring to his wheelchair.  
  
He certainly would not want Max to walk in on him like this. He reached for a fresh T-shirt and rushed over to his bathroom. He definitely needed a shower, but there was just no time for that now. So he just washed his face, changed his shirt and put on some cologne, hoping that would do for now.  
  
**** Max whirled around at the sound of the wheels on the wooden floor.  
  
"Hi there.Thought I had heard someone stir! Looks like my timing's bad."  
  
She eyed him up and down in his boxers, T-shirt and tousled hair. A little smile escaped her lips, seeing him disheveled like this.  
  
She smiled: "You 'been sleepin? It's after noon!"  
  
Logan approached her, looking at his watch, to check what time it was.  
  
"Didn't sleep much at night." He mumbled, his voice a little scratchy.  
  
"Working on a new case?" Max asked casually.  
  
He hesitated for a second then continued: "Well, I found out about some bad stuff going on at the 'Make them smile again' foundation."  
  
Max drew a face: "Stupid name that, isn't it?" She strolled over to the fridge and looked inside. "Don't they collect money for children.?"  
  
She stared inside, then took out a box of orange juice, and took a deep draught from the package. When she saw Logan's irritated look, she put down the juice and said. "Sorry, forgot I'm not home..I'll get myself a glass." She opened several cupboards before she found one. She kept forgetting that there was no use for Logan to store his dishes in the overhead cupboards. Bling had removed most of the stuff from there to the lower cupboards he could easily reach. She bent down to get a glass from one of the bottom shelves, twisting her body in her tight biker outfit.  
  
Logan had to pull himself together not to lose thread with his story at this view. He caught himself lost in the thought that her full soft lips had touched this box of juice. . He wouldn't bother about a glass neither later on. .And how sexy she looked in those tight clothes.  
  
Logan shook off those thoughts. This dream must have confused me completely!!!! What the hell am I doing here. This is kind of pathetic.After all we are just, well.. business partners. Or rather he was the brain, she was the legs.as she had put it.- Which is actually even more pathetic.  
  
He reassembled himself, trying to stop staring at her...He shook his head to himself and cleared is throat:  
  
"Ahem...They collect money for terminally sick children in order to fulfil their biggest dreams. Well as far as possible, that is. Most of them are too sick to even get out of hospital. They also send presents to the hospitals for Christmas and things like that."  
  
"Sounds nice to me, so what's the problem?"  
  
Logan had found back his posture: "The problem is, most of the collected money never reaches its called for destination. Some of the shareholders are having a nice time, spending it for their own purposes.They have developed a clever way of transferring small amounts to several secret accounts-most of them in Europe-, so that the money is extremely difficult to track down."  
  
"I'm sure you did it anyway" Max responded, smirking at his oh-so-typical Eyes Only matter-of-factly introduction to this case.  
  
"Took me all night..but yes, I did." Logan yawned, rolling over to the counter to make himself some coffee. Despite the fact, that this case really got to his attention, he still felt drowsy and confused and needed to get a clear head. Max watched him get busy, waiting for what else there was to come. When Logan did not bother to continue the topic, she asked:  
  
"So where's my part of the story?" -Since the day she had started doing the leg work for Eyes Only, Logan had never told her about a case without having some work to do for her. Like sneaking around, breaking into some building, stealing some secret information, or freeing someone.  
  
This time though it would be different. "Don't worry. I don't need your help on this one. I called detective Sung this morning. He is taking care of those people. Case rested for now."  
  
Max fixed her eyes on him, still fumbling away with the coffee machine. Even from behind she could figure that something strange was going on here. Eyes Only never put down a case that easily or left it in the hands of someone else. There was a good deal of hesitation in his voice, mixing with his fake light-hearted tone.  
  
Well, whatever. Maybe he is just tired or something. I am not exactly in the mood to go out and kick somebody's ass anyway.  
  
"But if you are eager to do some work for Eyes Only I am sure I can find you something else in no time short! Can I just have my coffee first?" he added, trying to make it sound like a joke.  
  
Max did not really know what to make of it, but she figured that she should probably leave right now. She suddenly felt uncompfortable. After all she had just woken him up. She put down her glass and reached for her jacket. " Gotta go. I still have some deliveries to do."  
  
"Hey!" he called after her. "Didn't you want something to eat?"  
  
"Did you take a look into your fridge recently? Nothing in there!!! And I don't exactly like eggs with mustard and strawberry jam that much! "she yelled back, slamming the door behind her. Outside she was relieved to jump on her bike and speed through the cold winter air. Something strange had been hanging in the air up in Logan's penthouse. She just could not tell what it was yet.  
  
*** Logan frowned and moved over to the fridge to look inside. As a matter of fact it was practically empty. He had totally forgotten to go shopping over his last case.  
  
Come to think about it, he had not had a decent meal for two days now. He had just taken the time to get himself a bowl of cereal every now and then between calling informants, following hints and cracking codes. But he was really getting sick of cereal. Maybe he should call Bling and ask him to join him on a shopping crusade. He was really up for a steak tonight, maybe with some fresh vegetables and .a huge desert! His stomach rumbled at the thought of a decent meal. Maybe Max would like to come over for dinner, so he could make up for his empty fridge this morning.  
  
Smiling to himself in anticipation, he picked up the phone and dialled Bling's number. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------  
  
SO THIS IS PART THREE! For those of you who are expecting some action soon; you'll probably have to wait some more, because I like drawing scenes and pictures more than create some raging action. But you never know- whatever possibility comes up along my way, I will pick it up and seize the opportunity.  
  
There are so many things and so many issues I'd like to write about. But I'd rather work them into my story as I proceed, instead of filling you up with a whole bunch of short single episodes. PLEASE REVIEW! Please feel free to comment on style and language, too! Or tell me what you did not like. 


	4. Chapter 4

So finally I found the time to continue this story! Sorry for taking so long! Unfortunately my studies kept me busy, so I didn't have time to write.

I still feel I'm not quite in shape, but I'll try anyway.

Enjoy! And Please review!

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**Chapter 4**

Bling and Logan made their way through the old market towards the area with the fresh fruits. After the pulse this was one of the few places where one could get some fresh produce, albeit at ridiculously high prices. 

But tonight it didn't matter. Logan wanted to prepare a nice and decent meal, not only for himself, but all and foremost for Max. She had to be very hungry after having left him without anything to eat due to his empty fridge.

He thought back to their encounter earlier that day with mixed feelings. 

He had been glad to see her, but his nightmare was still clouding his thoughts and confusing his feelings. She had caught him off guard. He just could not keep up a quiet conversation with all this stuff turning in his head.

He had felt the sudden need to touch her, to feel her near him, while she was standing over there by the fridge. Her tight clothes had surely been a turn-on, but there was something else. This wasn't just pent up sexual desire that had built up inside him ever since the day he had been shot, reducing his private life to nothing but clinical aspects. This dream had waken something inside his head that he had tried to lock away for all those years, making him feel so helpless and vulnerable again. 

He had felt the urge to move over and hug her, to be near her, to be near someone, to get this devastating feeling off his chest and the lump out of his throat. 

At the same time he'd felt incredibly embarrassed and ridiculous, sitting there, all messy and sleepy, longing for some comfort from this incredibly beautiful woman standing there in front of him, however being to proud to accept it anyway, even if she'd offer it.

So he had pushed the thoughts away, as far back as he could. But they threatened to come back even stronger. With every word he told her about his new case, he felt his composure break down and the locked up feelings creep to the surface.

Then he had heard her offer her help. No Max, don't you dare stir up those feelings even more! Or else I might not be able to refrain them anymore. And I have a promise to keep.So he had just brushed her off, telling her that he didn't need her help, that the case was rested. This was just too personal. Too painful to relive.

***

Bling and Logan had reached the stall they had been heading for and Logan picked out some nice strawberries, to go with the desert he was going to make. He was surprised that they had strawberries. After all, it was winter. Even in pre-pulse Seattle it would have been extremely difficult to find strawberries in this time of the year. But they would fit perfectly with the Tiramisu. Max would love it. His mother had brought the recipe from one of his parents holidays from Italy. She used to say that it was the best painkiller there was in the whole world, even better than morphine.

"Can I help you with something else?" the woman behind the counter asked politely, as she handed Logan the strawberries, wrapped in a plastic bag.

"No thanks, that's all for today." Logan responded. Handing the fruits to Bling who packed them into one of the big shopping bags he was carrying.

Logan smiled: "Thanks for being my mule and carrying all those bags."

Bling nodded. "That's okay. Your wheelchair would break down with all the weight, you know?!" he smiled amusedly. Maybe we should get you a trailer sometime."  

They had spend all afternoon gathering all the stuff, Logan wanted to buy and his arms started to ache from the weight he was carrying around.

"Ha ha" Logan uttered, punching Bling 's side playfully.

"Why did you let it come this far anyway. I mean didn't you notice you were running out of food or have you just been to busy to care?"

"Suppose I just didn't notice..." Logan said.

"You seemed quite busy with that case, when I came in this morning. What was that all about anyway? Something hot?"

"Nah, just regular work, some fraud going on, nothing in particular." 

"So that's why you stayed up all night, messing with your health and all, just because it's a regular case, huh?!" Bling said sarcastically.

Logan rolled his eyes. " Listen Bling, you're not my mother. I don't need another one of your talks right now, okay!"

Bling nodded silently.

 "Okay," he finally said. "No need to be…" He was interrupted by the ring of Logan's cell phone. Logan hectically reached for his pocket and flipped it open.

"Hello?" he asked curiously.  "Ah, Detective Sung,… yeah…. I've been waiting for your call. Did you arrest any of the…?…. Oh, I see…So they deleted all the files from their system….Let me see. They collect the donations via the hospitals directly. There have to be some written receipts left there. Maybe Eyes Only can locate some of the records…Which one are you working on right now?….Southside Children's Hospital…Okay, we'll check that immediately…..Thanks, bye"

He closed his phone and put it away.

"So, that was about the new case." Bling asked "Didn't sound like nothing particular,"he stated calmly.

"For heaven's sake, Bling. You can be stubborn!" Logan exclaimed. Noticing that their conversation was becoming too loud and people started looking at the strange couple he lowered his voice and pushed his chair away from the crowd towards the parking lot. 

"Fine," he conceded, " I'll tell you. There is some major fraud going on in the 'Make them smile again' foundation, money is being transferred to secret accounts in Europe, without ever reaching its destination. I managed to transfer the money back, but now the police needs names and evidence to track those who are responsible down. Unfortunately all of the data of the last two years was deleted in a mysterious computer crash down this morning." 

_So this is personal!,_ Bling thought to himself. All of the sudden everything made sense. 

That was why Logan was so tense and wouldn't talk about this case! During one of their endless talks in rehab Logan had only once confided to him about his family and what happened to them. Bling was sure he still had no idea how much that affected Logan or how he really felt about that.  

But coming in touch so closely with his past definitely could not be easy.

 "So this is something personal," Bling finally spoke out loud.

Logan looked up at his friend and hesitated. "…Obviously. Yes." He finally admitted with a sigh. "I just have to fix this!"


	5. Chapter 5

Nothing much to say for I wrote Chapter 4+5 right after another. 

Except for: PLEASE REVIEW!!! It can make my day! J

And many thanks to those who did already!

PS: Could someone please give me some advice on how to save and post my chapters, so the text won't be changed so much and it doesn't take ages?!

Thanks!

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Chapter 5 

****

Max rode her bike through the dark wet streets, still thinking about what had earlier happened at Logan's. Riding back to Jam Pony after having finished her last delivery for this day, she still could not help but have this strange feeling about how Logan had behaved earlier that day. First of all he still had been sleeping, although it had been after noon when she got there. At first she had thought that he was not home, but then he had emerged from his bedroom, all dishevelled and messed up. …With that confused expression on his face_._ She did not quite know what to make of that. 

He had said he had not slept much during the night. Must have been working on that case. 

But why the heck then had he been so reluctant to talk about it? Well, he had told her what it was about eventually, and he had sounded pretty concerned at first. But then, he had shut her off just as easily as he had introduced her into that case. He had told her, he didn't need her help on this one. _Case rested! That is so unlike him._

 Max jumped of her bike and pushed through the door, wiping away the moisture that had covered her face. She hated this kind of weather. She'd rather go for minus twenty than getting soaked slowly in this drizzle. 

Inside she made her way to the back towards her locker.

She tried to ignore Normal's shrieky voice as he tried to find a messenger who would make a hot delivery, but obviously nobody was very pleased with he idea to head out in that kind of weather again. After all many of Max' colleges had already left….But, oh no, there was no chance of Normal talking her into making this delivery. Her working hours were over. She had actually spent overtime, trying to find the address for her last delivery, which had been  in a small dirty street in the darker areas of post-pulse Seattle. 

All she wanted now, was go home, get changed and drop dead in her bed. 

Max took of her wet jacket and changed to her leather jacket, which she had kept in her locker. When she took out her stuff from the pockets, she glanced down at her pager. _Funny, it has been quiet all day. Logan must have been really busy…. _

_But wait a second!_The display said that someone had paged her. The numbers on the display were nearly invisible, flickering slightly. If Logan had tried to reach her, why the hell hadn't she heard it? She fumbled to open the battery latch, to see if the battery was empty and looked inside…Oh great! It's all wet!-no wonder it doesn't work! Cursing the rain and her broken pager and went over to the phone to call Logan. She just hoped it had not been urgent.

On her way she bumped into Original Cindy who had just finished her discussion with Normal. "Hey, Boo. Watch out!"  OC exclaimed. "Where are you going anyway? You're not letting that sonuvab…" she trailed of as Max walked right through her. Just muttering a nearly imperceptible "Sorry,…" she continued her way to the phone.

Original Cindy stood there dumbfounded "..talk you into delivering that package…" she finished her sentence to herself, shaking her head.

She watched Max pick up the receiver and punch in the number.From the expression on her friends face she figured who she had to be calling. Logan, obviously. 

From the first day on, when Logan had walked into Crash, she could see that her girl really liked that guy. And he seemed to like her, too. If only the two of them would quit sneaking around each other and get something started. This was getting annoying. Why did straight people always have to make everything so difficult? They had…. well, so many dating opportunities and even when it came to a real good one they just did not seize it. Like Max and that guy Logan. They had been sneaking around each other from the first day on and hadn't gotten beyond that, yet. OC turned to her locker and started to pack her things to get home as soon as possible. She was planning on going out to Crash tonight, maybe find herself a date herself. She smiled to herself at the thought.

Max returned from the phone and started rummaging around in her locker. "Hey boo, what's up with you? You' re acting weird!"  Cindy asked.

"I'm sorry OC… have to hurry. What time is it actually? …Oh shit! I'm all soaked. I cannot go like that, can I?" She asked, nervously brushing her wet hair from her face.

Original Cindy raised her left eyebrow: "Max???" she asked in a quizzical tone. "Earth to Max?! What are you up to? You finally have a date with Mister Cale? Or why is it you're acting like a crazy teenage girl?!.." She eyed Max suspiciously, waiting for an answer.Max finally turned to her friend:

"My pager got soaked, so I didn't hear it earlier, when he paged me. I thought it might be something important, but he just invited me for dinner… "

"So it's a date, right?" OC pressed.

"No, It's not!… I don't actually know what it is. I mean, it's not the first time he'll feed me, right."

Cindy drew a smile: "No it certainly isn't, but it's the first time around you're really messed up about that…. Gotta be a reason for that!"

"Honestly, I don't think, this is going to be a romantic candle light dinner. … Except, Logan has a very strange sense of timing. … This morning, he acted so weird. Like…I don't know,"she ended. 

Original Cindy was still staring at her, waiting what else there was to come.

She could hear the gears in Max' head clicking.

"Here," Max finally continued. "Can I ask you something?"

 "Shoot," OC nodded.

"Today I went over to Logan's to pick up something to eat, only to find him sleeping in the middle of the day. At first I thought he wasn't there, but then he came out of his bedroom, all sleepy and dishevelled…and…Anyway, he explained he'd been up all night. When I asked, he told me about his new case and he really seemed to be into it. But when I asked if he needed my help, he just told me he did not need my help on this one and ended the topic. He said, there was nothing to do right now and brushed it off like that.Suddenly he acted as if nothing was more important to him than making coffee!"

"Maybe it was then!" OC said, smiling at her friends outburst.

" He never drinks coffee!!" Max exclaimed.

"But that's not the point!" she continued. " He never rests a case, not him. Besides, this one seemed to be very important. But he just told me roughly what it was about and then changed the topic!"

"Relax Boo," OC tried to calm her friend. "Maybe he just did not want to talk about it anymore…"

"Why would he?" After all he had stayed up all night working on it, so it had to be important!

"I don't know girl, but sometimes people just don't want to talk about certain things. 'That ever occurred to you?" She said more seriously now. " Actually you should be an expert on that, Miss Mysterious."

Max frowned: "But why should he keep that kind of information from me. I mean it's business and we are business partners. So he should've told me, right?! I know he can be a pain in the ass when it comes to something personal, but…" she stopped dead in her tracks. 

Now that was making sense!…"Or maybe this is…!" The only plausible explanation why Logan had not told her more, was  because he was somehow involved in this case, personally. If that was the case, she was going to find out tonight, that was for sure. Suddenly she felt an even stronger urge to get over to Logan's apartment. If he was keeping something from her she was going to find out tonight.

"Thanks Cindy, gotta blaze! See ya tomorrow" she said.

Before OC could answer Max had jumped onto her Ninja and sped off towards Foggle Towers, leaving a puzzled Cindy behind.   


	6. Chapter 6

Hi, I'm back. Took me some time, but I still have a lot of work to do and after all Christmas is coming up.

But here is the next chapter anyway.

Kyre: Thanks for pointing out to me that OC does not know that Logan is eyes only at this point. Well let's just pretend, Max just told Cindy that she helps him do some research for his stories as a journalist, and let's pretend, she said that he never let go of a story or something.

All right?

Thanks for reviewing!

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Chapter 6

Logan was busy preparing dinner, lost deeply in his thoughts. This case was really getting to him. How on earth should he get the charts he needed for Matt Sung to arrest those bastards? All the computer files had been deleted. Now the only existing proof of what was going on at the foundation could probably be found in some archives at the hospitals and the foundation itself. 

So he someone had to go there in person, sneak into the archives, looking for any written documents that stated which families had donated money to the foundation and how much. He did not think that those criminals would have dared to touch the bigger amounts coming in like charity runs or donations of large firms. So it was most likely that they would have stolen the money of the small people who had sick children themselves and wanted to support others who were in a similar or worse situation.

The hospitals were authorised to accept cheques from those people directly and then send it on to the foundation. As far as he knew sometimes an employee would even come around and collect the cheques in person. That idea struck Logan like a blow on the head. Oh my god! Probably they had stolen even more money that way! It would never even have appeared on the foundation's account!

Well, he would find that out as soon as he got hold of the records.

The only problem was he couldn't just walk in there himself and look through the files as he would have done it if…. Someone else would have to do that. 

Max, obviously came to his mind, but he pushed the thought away. No way. This was too personal. He had to do it on his own. He wouldn't want her sneaking around in all those hospitals , intruding into his own past.  He considered his options.

Maybe Bling could help him. At least he wouldn't ask all those questions Max was surely going to ask. He had filled him in about his past enough for him to know not to ask any further. It was just nobody's business anyway. Those were his own personal demons and he wasn't going to share them with anybody.

Trying to push those thoughts away he wheeled over to the counter to prepare desert. First of all he had to get this done, if he wanted it to be ready by the time Max would arrive.

He had prepared the cream filling earlier and now piled biscuits into the bowl, soaked them with espresso and sweet liquor and covered them with the sweet mixture.

Like this, he piled layer by layer into the bowl topping it with the cream. Job done he licked the spoon and smiled to himself. Delicious. If Max didn't like this…! He knew she was into those sweet things. 

Thinking of Max he reminded himself not to look forward to much to this evening. She had not even answered his page. Maybe she wouldn't even come to join him.

In that case he would offer her to pick up the leftovers the next day. The Tiramisu would be even better then, after sitting for a day.

But he really hoped that she would not decline his invitation. Although he couldn't take his mind of the case he couldn't do anything about it anyway now and he just didn't want to be alone that night. He still felt kind of out of time and place after that unnerving dream he had had that morning. 

He was just pondering on how a bad dream sometimes could affect your whole day, when the phone rang.

He threw the dirty spoon into the sink and wheeled over to pick the phone up.

"Yeah?!" he said wiping away some leftover cream from his mouth.

"It's me, Bling."

"Oh , hi!" Logan answered not even making an effort to hide his disappointment that it wasn't Max calling.

"Well that sounds pleased!" Bling said sarcastically. "Sorry to disappoint you! How are dinner preparations going?"

"Good, I just finished the desert. It's perfect!"

"Max will like it," Bling finished Logan's thoughts. "I'm sure she will."

"Yeah, problem is she hasn't even called back. Maybe she won't make it tonight…" he trailed off. 

"No worries, man. You know her. She'll never miss a good meal and especially not a desert like that."

"We'll see about that.." Logan replied. "Why are you calling anyway?"

"Ahem, I was going to ask if you'd mind me coming for therapy about an hour later, tomorrow. My mother just called me. She wants to wash her curtains tomorrow. And I don't want her to trip over and break a leg trying to get them down." 

Logan smiled imagining this tall, strong man being ordered around by a small resolute elderly woman, taking down some plushy curtains.

"No problem. Why don't you come over and get mine down, too. You don't want me to break my neck either, do you?!" he teased.

Bling wasn't prepared for his friend's unusual light mood. For some days now his mood had changed every ten minutes or with each and every wrongly chosen word.

" You don't even have curtains, Logan" he stated matter of factly. He shook his head. He didn't know what to make of that. Something had Logan confused completely.

Logan chuckled: "Well, you're right, I forgot. …Anyway," he continued more serious now, " I have something else to ask of you. It's about that case, I'm working on. I'd do it myself if I could, but this one I can't do from my computer."

"What is it?" Bling asked.

"I told you this afternoon about the actions going on at the foundation. Remember?"

"Sure, what about it?"

"All the files about any transactions to and from the account of the foundation have been deleted. But in order to arrest those people we need some proof that there is actually some money missing. So we have to get the hospitals' records on all the donations that were done over the past few years and the foundations' files on all the incoming and outgoing money. 

They have to have it all on paper for backup. I just hope they haven't touched those records yet."

Bling interrupted Logan: "And you want me to do that for you? What about Max? As far as I know, she has quite some practice sneaking in some place to get what she wants, right? Certainly more than me!"  Like that habit of picking Logan's look each time she came there, he mused.

Logan remained quiet. He knew Max would be more capable of doing this job than Bling knew, but that was out of the question:

"I can't ask her." He simply replied.

"She can take care of herself, you know…" Bling said hesitantly.

"I know, but I can't ask her. …I don't want to. Please Bling, I need your help this time.

I don't want to get her involved. I have my reasons. …"I thought you knew that." He added meekly.

Bling sighed. "You know I'm glad to help you with anything I can. But I'm not sure if I can do this. It's illegal. Breaking in and …"

" Bling, what those people are doing is illegal!" Logan exclaimed." We're just trying to put things in order again."

"I don't know man! Let me think about it, okay. I'll tell you tomorrow." Bling said reluctantly.

Logan knew his friend wouldn't let him down. He just needed some time to make this out with his conscience.

"Sure. No problem. See you tomorrow." he said before he disconnected the line.

Bling sat there, receiver in hand and pondered if he could do what Logan was asking of him. He was an honest and deeply religious man. He'd really have to get over himself to do something like this. Breaking in, stealing some records, probably hurting some people along the way. That was not right. 

But after all it was for a good cause. And he knew, Logan wouldn't have asked him if it wasn't something really important. Also, if he turned him down, Logan would probably rather do it himself than asking Max for help, he had made that pretty clear. Bling sighed. He knew, he couldn't refuse to help his friend. Maybe he was doing something good after all, both for those children and for Logan.  

Logan wheeled back to the kitchen. He placed the desert in the fridge and started to prepare the main course. It was almost six. He knew that Max had to work until about six thirty. If she decided to drop by after work, she should be there in about an hour.

Still she hadn't called back. Logan was beginning to worry about her. She usually called him right after he paged her. Usually it only took her a few minutes.

He had paged her twice now. The last call had been over an hour ago.

He decided to try again.

****

Half an hour later Logan was all done with his preparations and decided to take a shower while he was waiting for Max to call back. He took his time, washing his hair, shaving, and even cutting his fingernails. Although this certainly did him some good, he was just trying to distract himself from the fact that Max hadn't called yet. He also took some time to chose his clothing. He finally went for some black cargo pants and a maroon v-neck sweater which fit tightly and showed off his well built upper body. Finally all of the hard work was paying off, he thought. His arms and shoulders had never been in better shape, he prouded himself. Sure, he had always worked out some, but he had never been as consistent as now, that he had his personal trainer kick his ass when he got lazy. Also he just couldn't afford to miss the workout, as his arms were his independence and now had to make up for everything his legs wouldn't do anymore.

Logan turned back and forth in front of the mirror, eyeing his reflection suspiciously.

He still couldn't get used to not being able to inspect his whole height in the mirror, to turn and twist and show off his whole body. He had always been proud of his tight, muscular ass and most women had liked it, too. Now it probably was all white, limp and skinny. Not a nice sight anyways. He was glad Bling was the only one who got to see it from time to time. 

He suddenly felt ashamed of himself and quickly moved away from the mirror.

He went back to his bathroom to brush his teeth.

When he had just stuck the toothbrush into his mouth the phone rang.

Great! he thought. Perfect timing! He put the toothbrush down and hurried to his living room where he had left the phone.

"Hewo.." he said in a slightly annoyed tone trying not to spit the toothpaste all over the room.

"Hi, Logan! It's me…"

"Macsh!" He exclaimed. The toothpaste was running out of his mouth and threatened to stain his sweater.

"Logan. My pager broke. I didn't hear it. Just figured out you called me…"

Logan was wiping away the toothpaste "Hang on a shecond," he managed to say, dropped the phone into his lap and wheeled back to the bathroom.

Max heard Logan spit out, then the water was running. If she hadn't already been confused before she definitely was now.

"Logan?" She asked. "You still there?… I was worried that you had something im.."

Logan picked up the receiver again, while he reached for a towel with the other hand

"..portant. …"he heard Max finish her sentence.

"Hey Max. I'm sorry. Now I can hear you. What did you just say?.."

"What the hell were you doing there…?"

"Oh," Logan explained sheepishly. "Just brushing my teeth…"

"Oh, okay." Max said confused. "So what did you want? Something important?"

"Depends on how you see it" Logan teased. All back to his old confidence now.

"I was going to ask you if you'd like to join me for dinner. ..Just to make up for my empty fridge this morning." He added. "I got some nice steaks here, fresh vegetables and an incredible desert…"

Max could feel her stomach react to this delicious offer.

But she felt dirty and soaked and tired. At first she hesitated to give in to that tempting offer, but then the perspective of a decent meal, some good pre-pulse wine and maybe a hot shower, made up her mind.

"Sounds good," she said. "Thing is, I got myself all wet and dirty…."

"You're welcome to use my shower…if you don't want to go home that is..", Logan interjected.

"Honestly the perspective of going back to my apartment and then over to your place again in this weather is not all too inviting…. But I don't have anything fresh to wear."

Logan thought for a second if he could be as bold as to offer her some of his own clothes.

"Well," he eventually said. "I'm sure we could find you something to wear."

Max hesitated for another second, then said:

"Okay then. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Max arrived, Logan had just finished setting the table. He opened the door to her knock. Today she didn't bother picking the lock. After all he was awaiting her. So what was the use going through that trouble. 

Logan smiled at her and took her wet jacket from her, before she could throw it somewhere like she usually did. She really looked dirty, soaked and even tired. That was an unusual sight for her.

"Dinner will be ready soon." Logan greeted her.

"Can I take a shower first?" she asked already on her way to the bathroom.

"Sure," Logan replied. "You have twenty minutes. Will that be enough?"

"Sure! More than enough." She said closing the door behind her.

"I'll go get you some clothes", Logan shouted through the door.

Then he wheeled to his room to search for something that would fit her. Probably everything would be way to big anyway.

He searched through his closet for a few minutes and finally picked out some grey cargo pants. He zipped the legs off beneath the knees. This way they should be short enough for Max. He added a black shirt, the tightest one he could find. Actually he hadn't worn this one for some time since it didn't fit anymore.

He also took a pair of tight boxers and some woollen socks that had shrunk in the washing.

That should do, he thought, content with himself. He returned to the bathroom door and knocked on it. He could hear the water running. Max was humming a song, he never heard before. She was obviously enjoying the hot water.

Logan left the clothes on the floor in front of the door and yelled: "I have your clothes here. Let me know if I can get you something else."

"Which towel can I use?" Max yelled back. 

"There are some clean ones underneath the sink. Just help yourself." Logan answered.

Then he moved over to the kitchen to put the finishing touches to his meal..


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: See chapter 1  
  
Hi everybody. So here are the next chapters. Finally! Thanks to everybody who is still reading this. I know I took real long! Sorry about that!  
Anyway: Enjoy! And maybe if I get a lot of reviews it won't take me as long for the next chapter :) (Please bare with me for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I wanted to post this quickly!)  
  
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Chapter 7  
  
  
Max took her time in the shower, washing her hair with that peach shampoo Logan had left at the side of the shower.  
She smiled to herself while she was rinsing her hair, enjoying the fruity scent that now filled the air. It was hard to imagine Logan using this kind of shampoo, especially as she had thought that he didn't use any special hair care product for his short stubbly hair.  
Anyway, Max liked the scent of it and she could feel that it made her wet entangled hair smooth and silky. Then she went on search for some body wash. She was already prepared to find something similar to the shampoo, when she found a regular apres-sport bodywash for men. It had a subtle but fresh and masculine scent to it, which instantly aroused her senses. Mhhhh! she thought, Just imagine a freshly showered Logan with that scent still lingering in the air.  
  
The very moment she caught herself thinking those thoughts, she snapped the cap of the bottle close and put the body wash down. What was she doing there? Daydreaming about Logan, her, well, business partner and friend..? Max hesitated at the thought of the word friend.  
Well was it that what they were? Were they friends or did they just have a business relationship...or were they even more than friends. She pondered that question for a while, but then she pushed the thoughts away. Why did everything have to be so confusing. Ever since she had met Logan Cale her life seemed even more unpredictable than it had been before. She had tried to keep her secret about Manticore and her growing up from everyone she had met. Only this man had seen her through from the beginning and he had continued to intrude in her life more and more each day, intentionally or not.  
At first she had been wary about him. She had felt betrayed and unmasked by his sudden revelation that he knew who she was. So she had refused to work with him. She had tried to ignore him and avoid his contact. But eventually, after he had been shot, it had just seemed impossible to ignore him anymore. She felt guilty and responsible for what had happened to him, for she knew or assumed that if she had helped him and his protégées, the shooting could have been avoided.  
So she had secretly visited him in hospital come back to him after some long weeks of insecurity.   
Looking back she had done the right thing. He had eventually become the first person she had learned to trust, so far. She had told him everything about her being a genetically enhanced killer machine, about the training at Manticore, about the escape...Thinking about it, she realised that she did not know a thing about Logan, except for what he did with Eyes Only. But had he ever told her anything else about his life? No. But then, she had never asked. She had not even asked him what had happened to his parents.  
To be honest, she had always assumed that anybody who didn't have to grow up in Manticore couldn't have had a very bad life, so why ask. Suddenly she felt stupid for thinking like that.  
But as her own personal rules strictly said, that it was dangerous to talk too much and reveal your secrets and weaknesses, she obviously wasn't a great talker. But now it was probably time to give her best. She needed to find out what was going on and why Logan was acting so weird.   
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Okay this was only a short filler. But the next one is longer! 


	8. Chapter 8

Here we go, Max is finally pinning Logan down! Enjoy and please reward me with your review.  
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Chapter 8  
  
  
When Max came out of the bathroom she could smell the full aroma of the steaks and her mouth began to water. She was so hungry! Well, she decided, her conversation with Logan would have to wait until after the main course! She met Logan in the kitchen, where he was just beginning to clean away the cooking utensils.  
  
When he heard Max' steps he turned around and eyed her up and down.   
"Wow, you look hot in my clothes!", he teased. "Should have offered you to wear them earlier!"  
"...Ready to eat?" He added quickly, when he saw that his remark provoked a slight redness on Max' cheeks.   
"Sure! Like I said, I'm starving!" she answered quickly. Logan filled the plates and handed them to Max who was curiously looking over his shoulder.  
"Would you mind carrying them over?" he said "I'll take care of the wine".  
  
Max had finished her steak within a few minutes and had another helping of vegetables and potatoes. Logan took his time, enjoying the fact that his guest seemed to like his meal. He couldn't help but smile at the way Max gulped down the food.  
When she was finished, Max looked over at Logan's half empty plate and asked innocently:   
"'You not hungry?"   
Logan chuckled. "Not as hungry as you are, I suppose."  
"Oh, ... I didn't mean to... you're not finishing this?" she asked eyeing the leftovers of Logan's steak.  
Logan's smile broadened. This woman was just unbelievable. But if this was what his personal super-soldier needed...  
"Go ahead" he said, shoving over his plate. "As long as you leave some room for the desert!"   
"Oh, I will, don't worry" Max replied already busying herself with the rest of Logan's steak.  
  
When Max was finished, Logan moved to the kitchen to get the desert from the fridge.  
Max sat there still relishing the good taste of the delicious meal lingering in her mouth. She took a deep sip of the red wine and thought about how to start Logan up on the topic she was going to discuss with him. She would have preferred to stay silent and cherish the moment. But she wasn't going to deny nor let him deny that something was wrong. She had to find out tonight. Logan came back with the desert, which looked delicious.  
  
"Wow, this looks heavenly!" Max exclaimed. "What is this?"  
"It's called Tiramisu. It's an Italian speciality. It's made of Mascarpone-an Italian cream cheese, biscuits, coffee, some sweet liquor, eggs and cocoa powder."   
He put a piece of the creamy desert onto Max' plate. "Try it."  
Max took a spoonful. "This tastes even better than it looks! Where did you get the recipe from?"  
"My mom used to make it every year for my birthday, because it was my favourite. I didn't even want a cake if she just made me this." He smiled.  
Okay Max, ask him now, she told herself. She took another sip of wine, before she started.  
  
"This case, you told me about this morning. ...Did you find out anything new?" she asked, trying to sound casual.  
"No, Matt Sung is taking care of the case now, like I told you." Logan said reluctantly.  
"How did you find out about that case anyway?" Max continued.  
"One of my informants got a hint. ...People were donating money to the foundation, but when the children's clinic needed a new playing area, they didn't have the money to finance it." He took a spoonful Tiramisu himself.  
"The hospital would have needed some renovation years ago, but.."  
"You ever been there, yourself?" Max interrupted.  
Logan looked at her suspiciously. "I...had to meet an...informant there, some years ago." He explained.  
Suddenly he seemed to tighten up to her questioning and avoided her gaze.   
"So there was a similar case already back then?" Max insisted.  
"Something similar, yeah." Logan mumbled. "But I figured it out.." he added, hoping that Max would finally drop the topic.  
"Wow, I can't understand how people can be so brutal as to take advantage of those poor innocent children!" Max said, plunging her spoon into the cream.  
Logan sighed: "Yeah, NO ONE can understand that, Max! But that's the way it is." He tried to cut her off.  
"All we can do is try and give those bastards what they deserve!"  
Max looked at Logan in surprise: "That's not the kind of speech you used to give. Where is the usual lecture?"  
"No lecture today." Logan snapped. "I'm tired....Just go ahead and finish your desert." He picked up his plate and wheeled towards the kitchen.  
Max dropped her spoon onto her plate and jumped from her chair.   
"What is YOUR problem?", she yelled, following him. "You have been acting strange ever since you told me about that case!"  
Logan didn't look at her. Instead he started cleaning the dishes noisily.  
"I shouldn't have told you in the first place." He eventually uttered. "Just forget about it, okay?!".  
Max put her hand on her hip and stared at his neck. "Why? I thought we were partners. I don't understand why you are so secretive about this stupid case!" She couldn't help but feel offended by him locking her out.   
Logan whirled around in his chair and pierced her with an angry look. "It's just none of your business, so leave it alone!"   
Max was taken aback by this forceful reaction. "Well, I'm sorry I asked. I won't harass you any longer. Thanks for the meal. Good night." With that she turned on her heels and left the room. Logan sat there. Staring at the spot where Max had just stood. He buried his face in his hands and sighed deeply. The realisation of what he had just said struck him hard and he cursed himself for ruining this evening, which he had meant to be perfect.  
Max' digging into the subject had aroused his anger, because he didn't want to deal with all the feelings that came back with it. But now, that she had finally left the subject and him alone, he just felt empty and lonely.   
  
Max bolted from the kitchen and went to get her coat, when she came past Logan's   
office. She could her Logan wash the dishes in the kitchen, so he obviously wasn't coming after her. Fine, she thought, if he is not going to tell me, I could just as well take a quick look myself. I have to find out what he's hiding! She sneaked into the office and looked around. There were a lot of papers lying around. She didn't even know where to look. But it was probably best to start looking on his computer. She new that Logan had most of his information in files on there. Just when she was about to boot the computer, she saw a beige paper folder, lying, next to the monitor. Logan had scribbled "The foundation" on the cover. Bingo! She opened it and skipped through the pages. They were filled with numbers, donated amounts, and the names of donors. Then she found something that caught her attention. It was the copy of a Thank you letter seemingly addressed to one of the bigger industrial donors. It had just the usual stereotypic phrases in it, but the pre-printed head of the letter puzzled Max. Beneath the words "Make you Smile Foundation", the founders were listed: H. Simmons, A.C. Gilles, F. Hillmore, J.L.Cale. Max stared at the names. What the hell did that mean? Why hadn't Logan told her? After all couldn't he be proud, if his family had contributed to the foundation?  
  
Logan dried his hands and put the towel down. He felt bad for yelling at Max. He needed to talk to her and apologise. Maybe, she wouldn't be too far away. Maybe if he paged her, he could convince her to come back and listen to him. He didn't want this evening to end like this. He didn't want to be alone. He didn't feel like sleeping either. He didn't want those bad dreams to come back haunting him.  
He left the kitchen to look for his phone.  
  
Max continued to leaf through the pages until she found an old newspaper article in the very back of the folder. It dated from the year 1991. Max skipped through the lines.: Thanks to the generosity of founder J.L. Cale...founded on February 12, 1991...Mr. Cale said that ...the loss of his daughter...to help other terminally sick children...and fulfil their dearest wish..."   
Max read those lines again. She still didn't get the full picture, but she had certainly stumbled onto something big.  
  
Logan continued his search for the phone. He could have sworn he had left it in the living room, but lately he had been so occupied by all kinds of thoughts that he couldn't really concentrate. He wheeled towards his office and was surprised to see Max' coat lying on the couch. She probably had been so infuriated that she had forgotten to take it.  
  
Max heard the sound of rubber wheels on the wooden floor. It was nearing the office. Shit! She thought. What am I gonna do now!? She looked around hectically, but it was too late to get out of here unnoticed. She managed to shove the article back into the folder and close it before Logan rounded the corner.  
"Max!" he said confused. "I thought you had left. I was just going to...What are you doing here?" he asked puzzled.  
"Logan, I ...ahem.." Max stuttered, searching for the right words.  
It only took him one look to realise what she was holding I her hands.  
"What the hell are you doing?" he asked again, his voice being growing more intense.  
"I just, thought..." Max muttered. " I needed to know..."  
"What!?? " Logan said incredulous. "I can't believe this! You're going through my stuff behind my back?!" He shook his head in disbelieve. She could see the disappointment in his eyes.  
"Logan, I'm sorry!" she said remorseful. " It's just...I didn't know... You were so secretive! I thought... you might need some help."  
Logan clenched his teeth. "I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T" he yelled.  
"Logan, please, listen to me..." Max said meekly. "I just wanted to help you!"  
" I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO, DID I ?? !!"  
"I know, but...I found this... article...from 1991... It says..."  
Logan furiously wheeled towards her. Max backed away. She had never seen him so angry. She felt like he was going to slap her any minute.  
"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS" he exclaimed, his voice trembling with anger.   
"PUT THAT DOWN, NOW!" he yelled, motioning towards the folder she was still firmly holding in her hands.  
Max stumbled backwards, bumping into the desk. The folder fell from her hands and its contents scattered all over the floor. The article landing right in front of Logan's feet. Logan looked down at it and shook his head slowly. He stared down at his feet, breathing hard and motioned eagerly towards the door. His voice was as cold as ice now, but he didn't yell anymore. Max closed her eyes.  
"Get out of here." Logan said, his voice lacking all emotions. Max would have preferred if he had continued to yell at her. But there was nothing she could say to his toneless command.  
She hesitated for a second, then bent down and started to pick up the papers from the floor.  
"I said GET OUT OF HERE." Logan repeated, his hand still pointing towards the door.  
Max put the papers down on the table and silently left the room.  
Logan sat there, his head ringing and heard the front door slam shut. 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1  
  
Thanks everybody for the reviews. I finished this chapter shortly aftzer the others but I had posting problems again. It still isn't working the way I want it to. Anyway. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!  
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Chapter 9  
  
  
Logan stared at the papers that were scattered all over the floor.  
For a long time his head had felt empty and he didn't move. When his mind started to work   
again the scene that had just happened replayed in front of his inner eye. His ears were ringing   
with his own yells. His pulse was hammering against his temples.  
F*** you Max! How could you do that?! He had been so close to tell her. He just would   
have needed a little more time, wait for the right moment. But she had destroyed it all.  
How could she have done that? He'd thought or at least hoped that she cared. If not like a   
lover then maybe at least like a friend. She had been the only person he had fully trusted for a   
long time. Now even she had proven him wrong. Damn it! He had trusted her but she had   
blown it all. He would have told her all about his whole messed up life. All the tragedies he'd   
like to erase from his memory, all the anger, fear and confusion. All the tears he had never   
cried. He had been so close to let her in. If she hadn't pressed him.  
It wasn't that easy. He didn't even know where to start, let alone how. Unlike to what most   
people thought, his life was no nice story you'd like to tell your children at bedtime.   
It was the kind of story you'd rather keep locked in the closet because it was dark and haunting.  
A story you didn't like to hear, let alone relive. He knew he had pushed Max away and had   
refused to answer her questions but there were some things that weren't easily said.  
And now she would never hear them. "I hate you Max!!" he cried out loud, his voice echoing   
from the walls. "I hate you. Now I'll never be able to trust you again." He buried his face in   
his hands.  
  
  
Max had been speeding through the dark streets for what seemed like hours. It was raining   
and her wet clothes were clinging to her body. She had left her coat at Logan's and looking   
down at herself she realised that she was still clad in the clothes he had given her.  
Suddenly she felt the urge to get out of those clothes as fast as possible, so she frantically   
rushed back to her apartment. She had forgotten Cindy was hanging a Crash, but she was glad   
she didn't have to face anybody now, as confused as she was.  
Once she had dried up and was wearing her own clothes she felt a little better, but still the   
feelings were turning inside her head. She could still heart his yell: GET OUT OF HERE.   
…ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS…..She tried to calm herself down, but gave up after a   
few minutes. She just had to get him off her mind. She had to get out of there. She jumped off   
the couch and picked up her keys. She couldn't stay there alone. Not tonight.  
  
Max burst into Crash like she was going to kill anyone who would come into her way.  
She went right towards the corner table where the other guys were hanging. Without a word   
she grabbed Original Cindy's glass of beer and emptied it in one gulp. Wiping her mouth with   
her sleeve she checked out her friends . Her eyes fell on Sketchy who was sitting there staring   
back at her, mouth open at her performance.  
  
"What are you staring at?" Max snapped and put the glass down.  
"you're up for a game of pool?"  
  
Sketchy started to protest, but Max had already walked over taking over the table from two   
drunk guys who were just fooling around but not really playing.   
"You're done with the table?" she said, not really waiting for an answer. With one swift   
move, she took the cue from the man and stuck it out in Sketchy's direction.  
From the expression on Max face, he knew this wasn't the right time to argue.  
  
"I'll break!" Max said while she arranged the balls.  
Sketchy backed away a little from Max, while she positioned herself to start. Better not get in   
her way, he thought. Might get hurt!  
  
Original Cindy strolled over and stood beside Max:  
"Hey boo, what's eating you? " she said, drawing a face.  
"Nothing" Max snapped, trying to concentrate on the next move.  
OC rolled her eyes: "Oh, right. You walk in here like hell's lose, help yourself to my beer   
then order poor Sketch around just for the fun of it?"  
Max raised her eyes from the table.  
"Just a little tense…" she said toneless, shrugging and turning back to the table.  
OC held up her hands and said: "Aiight! Whatever you say boo. You know where to find me   
if you wanna talk about..tense.."  
With that she went back to the table.  
Max continued the game in silence while Sketchy watched her suspiciously.  
Her moves were not as smooth and catlike as usual. She seemed to be trembling with anger   
and he didn't want to get his ass kicked, so he kept a low profile.  
After she had sunk the sixth ball in a row, she circled the table to find a good angle for the   
next shot. But one of Sketchy's balls was in the way. Trying to let the ball jump over the other   
one, Max rammed the queue into the table, leaving a nice scratch in the green carpet.  
The ball she had tried to hit jumped off of the table and landed crashing on the floor.  
"Damn it!" Max yelled, throwing the queue on the table. The impact rearranged the balls,   
sending some of them off the table-one of them hitting Sketchy on the foot.  
Sketchy howled loudly.  
  
OC jumped up from her chair and rushed over to prevent further damage, but Max was   
already turning to leave. She had a strange feeling that she was about to lose control   
completely. Hysterically she brushed off Cindy's hand touching her arm. Without a word she   
burst out of Crash, leaving a perplexed crowd behind.Cindy ran after her. She had never seen Max so upset.  
She couldn't just let her leave like that.  
  
"Max, wait!" she shouted after her. Max kept on walking. She was about to break into a run.   
She didn't care where her motorcycle was or if she was running into the wrong direction, she   
just had to get away from the crowd. She couldn't let them see the tears that were welling up   
in her eyes.   
"Max!" she heard OC panting behind her. "Please!" Her legs suddenly felt tired. She felt the   
cold air filling her lungs. She could hear that OC had stopped in her tracks.   
"What's the matter with you?" she could hear her in the distance. Max slowed down until  
she was at a walking pace. She could feel OC catching up behind her, while the tears broke lose and   
started to stream down her face.  
"Hey, Boo" OC said softly. "What happened?" She was shocked to see Max cry.   
"Hey,come on! You can tell your homegirl!"she said touching her shoulder.  
Max' feelings were totally out of control now.  
"He.... I ...I blew it." She said between sobs.  
"Blew what?"  
Max wiped her nose on her sleeve. "I,...I just want to go home, okay?!" Max said hr voice   
almost a whisper..  
"Okay, boo. Whatever you say."  
  
Max was crouching on the sofa, knees pulled up to her chin, surrounded by Kleenex. She   
couldn't remember the last time she had cried like that. She didn't even think that she ever   
had. A good soldier didn't cry. But then tonight she was just a normal girl, who had been   
yelled at and pushed away. That damn idiot had made her cry! She'd just wanted to help him,   
be there for him in whatever he was going through. But he had just pushed her away again.   
She had a right to know what was going on, damn it! He knew so much about her-almost   
everything. But what did she know about him?  
  
But it didn't matter anyway. She was done with him- and he probably wouldn't want to see   
her again either. She had never seen him so angry! He had scared her.  
  
"Here you go boo." OC handed her a steaming cup of milk. "Thanks" Max whispered.  
"No problem, maybe that will calm you down a little." Cindy sat down next to her roommate.  
"So what is it? Thought you were going to have a nice evening with rich boy?!"  
Max sniffled. "Remember I told you that he was acting so strange?" she said.  
"Yeah,...so?"  
"I asked him about that...article he is working on. Seemed to be a real hot story. At first he   
seemed so eager to tell me everything about it, but then he suddenly backed away.  
He got real pissy and told me that it was none of my business. Just like that."  
"He did? Wow!"  
"... I decided not to take any more of his crap and left. On my way out I came by his   
office..." Max picked up another Kleenex and blew her nose.  
OC raised her eyebrow.   
"Well, I thought I might as well take a quick look myself. After all I was worried about him!   
He was acting so weird.Heck it scared me!"  
"And nobody scare my boo!" OC stated, squeezing Max' hand.  
"I found a folder with information on that case...and it seemed to be...somehow personal,   
you know.." she shrugged.  
"Personal? In what way?"  
"something to do with his family I guess..."   
"So...?" OC pressed.  
Max sighed deeply. "I don't know! Point is, he caught me going through his stuff."  
"Ouch!"  
Max nodded. She felt the tears well up in her eyes again. She could still hear his yells in her   
head.  
"I tried to explain it to him. That I was worried and...But he just yelled at me and threw me   
out!"  
"So you left!?"  
"Yes. I've never seen him so angry." The tears were running down her cheeks again.  
"Oh no boo, come on. Stop crying. No guy is worth you cryin' about him. Especially not   
some dumb assed snob like him."  
"Right." Max sniffled. "And I don't wanna see him ever again!" she added defiantly.  
"That's my girl. Nobody treats my girl like that! If that guy don't see where you coming from,   
he don't deserve you anyway, right?!"  
  
Max nodded. She had just wanted to help him, but if he didn't want her help she wouldn't   
press him. He had hurt her by not telling her what worried him and he had hurt her more by   
yelling at her, accusing her of…whatever. It didn't matter anyway. She certainly wasn't going   
to apologise.  
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TBC. Please review! 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer:see chapter 1  
  
Thanks everybody for the reviews. I really appreciate your opinion. And I hope I don't dissapoint you with this chapter. But this is just how it was all set up in my head ways before. lol. Okay, so keep the reviews coming and enjoy!  
  
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Chapter10  
  
It had been four days now since the incident. Logan had tried to bury himself in work, even more than usual. But in the back of his mind the events of that night seemed to repeat endlessly. He was sick of hearing those words over and over again, to see the look on Max' face, when he had told her to go. But still he couldn't forgive her for intruding his privacy and abusing his trust in her. He hadn't slept much the last few nights. He had been too upset and frustrated to relax. The few hours when sleep had finally claimed him, memories from his past had come back relentlessly, refusing to give him some rest. He had not showered for days neither had he mustered up the energy to shave. He hadn't bothered to cook either, so he was back at living on sandwiches and cereal. But he wasn't very hungry anyway. He had had Bling shouting at him for wallowing in self-pity and neglecting his workout. But he didn't care. Not even Bling's pep talks could make a difference now. After all, he admitted bitterly, the most important person in his life, the one who had kept him going day after day after the shooting,the reason for him to drag his useless ass out of bed every morning had vanished from his life, and worst of all it was his fault. But she just shouldn't have done that! Now it was too late anyway. She wouldn't talk to him, even if he could overcome his pride.  
  
"Logan?"Bling shouted, dropping two large shopping bags on the counter."You're up?"  
Logan tore his eyes from the blank stare at the computer screen, unlocked his breaks and slowly rolled towards the kitchen.   
"I'm still up.."he said tiredly. Bling raised his eyebrows.  
"You need some sleep man. You look like shit, if you don't mind me saying."He said pouring some orange juice into a glass and handing it over to Logan. Logan took the glass and took a sip.  
"I feel better if I don't sleep. Each time I close my eyes, I see those pictures...you know, of my family. I can't stand that anymore."  
He put the glass down. Bling let go of the groceries and went over to lean on the counter near Logan.  
"Listen, I don't know what's eating you there, but I'm sure it would be hard on anybody to deal with stuff like that on their own. You should really talk to somebody.... Maybe someone professional." he added carefully.  
"Should probably have done that years ago. But, you know it's never too late for that..."  
Logan bit his lip as he felt tears well up in his eyes. The lack of sleep and the recurring nightmares had nagged on his strength. Forcing the tears back, he swallowed hard before he answered.  
"I don't see what use that should be. Talking won't make things undone, right?"  
"No, but it could help you deal with what happened..." Bling walked over and put a hand on Logan's shoulder.   
"...all those years ago and in the last year also." He added thoughtfully. Beside the demons of his past Logan still hadn't come to terms with being in the chair. He had been offered psychological counseling right after the shooting, which was the common procedure. But he had turned all the approaches of the hospital psychologist down. He just wouldn't talk to him. Most of the time he had plainly thrown him out. Bling had been worried about that ever since, but now without Max to kick his ass now and then he could see Logan fall appart more each day.   
"You just can't go on keeping everything inside."  
Logan sat there staring into space. He was too tired to discuss that right now.   
"Just think about it, okay Logan? It's nothing to be ashamed of. You have every right to be confused, considering what you've been through. You can't do everything on your own, nobody can be strong all the time."  
"Yeah,right, fate has shown me recently that I can't do everything on my own." he said bitterly. "Seems like "the universe is right on schedule, right?"  
Bling shook his head at that remark. "Come on Logan. Stop that! You have to do something! You definitely can't go on like that! Why don't you talk to Max. Tell her you're sorry. I'm sure that will help a big deal."  
"I just can't do that." Logan refused, shaking his head. "She hurt me too much." he added hardly audible.  
"But it's so obvious that you suffer from this situation." Bling insited. "And I can see how much you miss her already."  
Logan pushed Bling's hand off his shoulder.  
"I miss her like hell, but I just can't do that! I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust her again. And I don't know how to face her."  
He furiously spun around and pushed his wheels as hard as he could towards his office.  
"Then just give her a call and talk to her..." Bling shouted after Logan.  
"For crying out loud, I can't! Why don't you just leave me alone!" Logan said staring back at the computer screen.  
  
Max leaned her bike against the wall and strolled over to her locker. She opened it and threw in the cap she'd been wearing, along with her biker's gloves. Then she snatched off her pager from her pants and threw it in there with the other things. Damn thing had been quiet all day! She slammed the locker shut and leaned against it with her back. It had been four days now and he hadn't called. With every day that passed she became angrier and she felt them drifting appart more and more. Her anger was turning into stubbornness and the good feelings she had held for Logan before were slowly turning into fake little memories in the back of her head. Why couldn't he just call her and appologize? God, he was so stubborn! She knew that the longer he took to talk to her, the more damage would be done inside her, if she wanted or not. Some part of her loved this man more than her own life, but exactly the same part was building up a barrier inside her with every minute that passed. Hell,he had scared her. He had seemed so angry and agressive! And he had yelled at her. She wasn't going to let anyone yell at her or hurt her! Maybe Zack was right after all. She had been much too emotional. Emotions had blurred her vision, shifted her focus and only made her vulnerable...  
  
"Hey, boo. What's up?" Original Cindy asked walking towards her.  
"Hey,"Max said lamely.  
"Let me take a guess; rich boy hasn't called yet!?"  
"No! And I really don't care, you know!" Max snapped.  
OC glared at her in disbelief. "Yeah, right. I'd be glad if you didn't. Would stop you from being in such a bad mood." She started looking through her locker for something.  
" I got two tickets for this biker's contest over at South Market tonight. You wanna come?"  
"Nah, I don't feel like going out tonight. Think i'm just gonna go home ,take a hot bath and relax a little...""Well, if that's what you want to do... I'll have to offer Sketchy to come then. But I'm telling you, you're missing something!"  
"Have fun then" Max said, not even tempted to go.  
Original Cindy sighed at Max'reaction or rather lack thereof. She leaned against the locker next to Max.  
"Listen girl: Either you forget about him now and start living your life again or you get your ass over to the phone right now and ring him up to make up with him. Hear me?! I'm sick and tired of this. Men are stupid, ya know and if you're not goin' to do somethin' you two will probably be hating each other one month from now. Right?!"  
"Cindy! I'm not going to call him! he yelled at me and threw me out. Forget that?"  
"Well then just forget it and start having some fun again. There's gonna be a lot of nice guys over at South Market, you know..."  
Max pouted and sat down on the bench near the lockers. "Why doesn't he call me? He can't seriously think that I'm going to apologize, can he?" OC sat down next to Max and took hold of her hand.  
"Boo, I'm positive about him having no right to yell at my homegirl and throw her out, but 'you ever think about how he must have felt seeing you go through his stuff behind his back. You said it was somethin' personal, right?"  
Max frowned. "Yeah, I suppose so..."  
"MAX!! Hey you got company!" Normals shrieky voice interrupted the conversation. Max looked up and was surprised to see Bling over there standing next to her boss. She threw Cindy a puzzled look and walked over.   
"Bling! What are you doing here?"  
"Hey Max. You got a minute? I need to talk to you."  
"Sure," she said apprehensively.  
"Listen Max. I normally wouldn't do that and I know that I'm risking my friendship with Logan for what I'm about to do. But I'm really worried about him."  
Max felt a little stab in her stomach at his words.   
"Is he okay?" she asked, already knowing the answer. Bling shook his head.  
"He does not sleep, he does not eat, he just sits in front of his computer, but he does not work either. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't really listen."  
He stopped and looked Max into the eyes. "He needs you Max. Now more than ever. I'm sure he's sorry, but he's too stubborn to admit it."   
Max looked down at her feet and bit her lip. "So does that mean I'm the one to appologize?... I don't think so!"  
Bling reached inside his pocket and got out an envelope.   
"What's that?" Max asked. "It's something I hope will make you understand Logan's reaction a little better. I'm not asking you to appologize, just read this." With that he turned and left jam Pony without another word.   
  
Max stared at the envelope in her hand. What was that all about? She hesitantly opened the paper with her finger. Inside there was an old article from the financial times. Max' eyes flew to the date on top of the page: April 15th, 1991.  
With her heart beating at the top of her throat Max started to read.  
  
Another blow shadows this year's promising economic start of Cale Enterprise stocks  
  
Only three months after the death of his little daughter, Jonathan Lewis Cale now announced the sudden and unexpected death of his wife. His lawyer refused to give any details on the circumstances of her death. Jonathan Cale himself was not available for a statement, but he confirmed that he will transfer all of his shares of Cale Enterprises to his brother Jonas Robert Cale. It is yet to be established what is going to happen to the newly founded "Make them smile again Foundation". Meanwhile Mr. Cale retreated to a secluded family cabin. His only son is said to be staying with family. We will still have to wait and see how the international market reacts to this tragedy...  
  
Max put the paper down. She felt like she had been hit by a train. "Sudden and unexpected death..." So Logan had lost both his sister and his mother shortly after another! But how? Maybe she should really talk to him again. She stuffed the article in her pocket and rushed towards her motorcycle.   
  
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Yeah, I know this was pretty short again, but I promise to post the next asap-as long as my computer lets me do that. Has been acting weird for the last few days. 


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: see chapter one  
  
Thanks everybody for the reviews and sorry for screwing up the dates. Of course the articles would have to say February and April 97. That means that Logan was 8 years old. Shame on me for getting that wrong. Anyway it won't change what happened...  
  
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Chapter 11  
  
Max rushed through the night, repeating the words of the article over and over in her mind. Although part of her was still not willing to apologise, the feline DNA in her made her way too suspicious about Logan's past to wait any longer now. Besides, whether she liked it or not, the fact that Bling had come looking for her at Jam Pony and the contents of the article had really got her worried. She parked her motorcycle in front of Foggle Towers and took the elevator up to the penthouse.   
  
There she was, laughing at the cabin, smiling unwrapping Christmas presents, running away while they were playing catch. ...Then the scene changed again:  
"Logan, come here..."  
Lissy in the hospital bed, surrounded by relentlessly beeping machines and infusions.  
The room was white and so bright that he couldn't see her face. He could smell the disinfectants and the clean sheets. Somewhere in the distance a child was crying.  
"Come here, I want to tell you something." Her voice sounded like that of an angel.  
He moved towards her, slowly, like in slow motion watching the expression on her face change.  
"Logan, come on we don't have time..."  
He was walking towards her but with every step he did, the distance was growing bigger.  
Lissy was now reaching out her hand. "Come on Logan...We don't have much more time..."  
He was trying to run now, but his legs felt like lead. He couldn't reach her. No matter how hard he tried, he was glued to the ground. He couldn't get to his sister.  
"Logan, ..."her face was fading now. "I have to go..." The image of her was now flickering, like a TV-screen. "No!" he screamed, struggling to move his feet "Don't go!"  
His sister smiled, but he could only see a distortion of her face, which was now as pale as the sheets.  
"I have to go now..." He was on his knees now, desperately trying to drag himself along the bedside towards his fading sister. He tore at the sheets but they slipped under his fingers. "No! Don't go! Please don't leave me alone!"  
"Logan...shh...it's okay." Her face was a blur now and her voice sounded distant. "I'm going to meet grandma, you know..." His eyes were burning with tears now. "No, Lissy don't go!" He could feel her smile through and through..."Don't cry Logan...it's okay. " he wiped away his tears and looked up. She was gone.   
"Logan! Logan!" the voice was distant, but someone was calling him. He looked around. Somehow the scene had changed. Lissy was long gone but he was still kneeling on the hospital floor.   
"Logan, it's just a dream...wake up." He tried to get up and follow the voice but he was still glued to the ground. He tried to move his legs but couldn't. His dream was fading. Reality was claiming him back. He felt the couch underneath him,he felt the strain in his neck, his left arm was trapped under his body and felt weird due to the lack of circulation.His mouth was dry and his stomach turned with a strange mixture of fear and nausea. Beneath that he didn't feel much. He tried to move his legs again. Nothing. Right, he thought...he was back. Back to reality. The dream was over, but there was still this voice calling him.   
  
"Logan!" A hand was touching his shoulder and shaking him gently.  
He forced himself to open his eyes. He squinted at the light and closed his eyes again quickly. When he opened them again, he was met by a pair of dark eyes observing him cautiously.  
"Max!" He would have literally jumped if he could have. "What are you doing here?" His head was aching and he felt like he was covered with sweat. Max didn't say a word, while he struggled to sit up on the couch.  
"I came to get some answers." She finally said.   
Logan rubbed his face with his hands. His head was still clouded with the images from the dream. He couldn't quite grasp that Max had come back and was sitting right next to him now. She had really caught him in the worst moment of all. He rubbed his eyes and reached for his glasses that were lying on the couch table.  
  
Max watched Logan's shaky movements. He looked like he hadn't showered in days. His hair was dishevelled and greasy and his stubble had grown to what almost resembled a full beard. His eyes were red and he looked pale and tired. His hand was shaking as he was reaching for his glasses.  
"You okay?" she asked. "You had a bad dream." Without waiting for an answer she got up and walked over to the kitchen. She came back with a glass of water and put it down in front of Logan.  
"Thanks. " he took a sip. He could feel the cool liquid run down his throat and enter his empty stomach. It helped a little to clear his thoughts.  
"What are you doing here Max?" he asked with a screechy voice.  
"I think you owe me some answers" she said bluntly.  
For the first time Logan looked at her. "Why's that?"  
"You have been acting weird, you threw me out...I mean, look at you. You are a mess! And what was that dream about? Man you scared the shit out of me! You were yelling in your sleep."  
Logan looked down on his knees. He didn't know if he was ready to tell her now.  
"Come on Logan. You had me real worried."  
"I don't know Max..." he muttered.  
But Max was going to get her answers now. " ...That article I stumbled on the other night...what was that all about? It mentioned your family in connection with the foundation..."  
Logan sighed and shifted nervously on the couch. He felt like shit and he didn't know how to start. But then, he couldn't feel any worse and he probably wouldn't find the words no matter when, so he reluctantly started.  
"My father founded the "Make them smile again foundation". He stopped because he didn't know whether to go on. Max nodded.   
"What made him do that?"  
Logan shrugged, hoping to sound casual "I guess he wanted to do for other people's children what he couldn't do for my sister." Max leaned back on the couch.  
"Tell me about your sister!" she said, eyeing him suspiciously.  
Logan stared into space. "She was the bravest little girl I ever knew."   
Max swallowed hard. "What happened to her?" she whispered.  
"She had Leukaemia. ... She fought for three years. "   
"How old was she?"  
"She had just turned ten, when she died." Logan swallowed.  
He reached for the glass again, trying to fight back the tears in his eyes.   
"I'm sorry." Max said softly. " How old were you then?"  
"Eight". Max nodded. Suddenly she didn't know how to continue the conversation, what to say. But now Logan continued on his own.  
"My father started the foundation a few weeks after she died, to keep his mind off his grief and to help other children, do the things my sister hadn't been given enough time to do. He said he wanted to make it up to her-somehow...."   
Max noticed a bitter undertone to Logan's voice.  
"Was there nothing they could do for her?"  
"They tried everything, they pumped every new drug in her that they would find, but nothing helped. Then the last option for her was a bone marrow transplant...They tested everyone as a possible donor. I was the closest   
match."  
"Did you..?" Logan nodded almost invisibly.  
"It didn't work though. Her body rejected my cells. She died shortly after that..." He hectically wiped his eyes with his hand, turning his face away from Max, so she wouldn't see his tears. Damn it! He had promised not to   
cry!Max took hold of Logan's hand and held it tight.   
"I couldn't help her..." he whispered, defeated. He was sitting there in front of her crouching on the couch like a little boy, staring down in his lap. Max moved closer to him and slowly put her arms around him, drawing him towards her softly. After a small moment of resistance, Logan gave in and leaned his head against her shoulder.   
"You don't blame yourself, do you..? Max asked cautiously, already knowing the answer. She could feel Logan's body start to shake with little sobs and when he spoke, she could hear the tears in his voice.  
"Damn it Max! I could have saved her! I was the only one..." Instinctively Max began to stroke his back and slowly rocking him back and forth.  
"It's not your fault that her body rejected your cells. You did everything you could have done!" His barriers were down now. All the tears he had kept inside for all those years were now streaming down his face and soaking Max' T-shirt.   
"She told me she was gonna be okay." he sobbed, "...She told me not to cry!...He felt like he was choking on the tears that were now forcing their way out. "Now look at me!".  
Max stroked his back and held him tight, hoping to somehow ease the pain. She knew how hard it was to lose a sister, and she knew the feeling of helplessness that was eating at you from inside. "Shhhhh!" she said, tenderly rocking him back and forth.   
"That's okay. ...It's okay to cry. Nothing to be ashamed of. You can't keep everything locked inside forever. "   
"I'm sorry Max." Logan mumbled into her shoulder.   
"It's okay, don't worry, I'm here. Just let it out."  
  
When Logan had calmed down a little, Max dared to ask the other question that was lingering in the air.  
"What about your parents? How did they deal with it?" Logan drew away from her and stared into space again.  
"My dad buried himself in work. He left home early in the morning and didn't come back before midnight. My mom stayed in bed all day. She slept and cried and slept and cried. Most of the time she was so drugged up that she didn't even notice I was still around. I tried to get her to eat something, to get her out of bed and get some fresh air. But she was too depressed to move. After some time I went back to school. I stayed there as long as I could. Sometimes I did something stupid just to get into detention, so I didn't have to go home... . I couldn't face her anymore...I couldn't see her cry. Then, one day, I got home two hours late from school." His whole body was shivering now.   
"...Oh god Max!..." he stammered, "two hours!...just two damned hours!..."   
Max sat there unmoving, anticipating what Logan was going to reveal next. The words 'sudden and unexpected death' whirled through her head. She closed her eyes and heard Logan say in a whisper:  
"I found her in the bathroom...her body felt so cold..." he was sobbing again. "They said it was an overdose. She had been dead for two hours. Max, two hours!" Max pulled his shivering body towards her again, placing her chin on top of his head. Her own tears were flowing freely now. There was nothing she could say. She would have given her right arm if that could have taken away some of his pain. But all she could do was hold him now.Suddenly she understood why he had acted that strange. It took a lot of courage to tell someone about those horrible things let alone relive them in the process. Logan was clinging to her like a frightened child, like the little boy who had just found his dead mother.   
"Shhh Logan, it's okay. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. "  
  
After what seemed like hours Max asked the final question she still had to ask. As much as she hated to confront Logan with more details from his terrible past, she feared that he would never tell her if she didn't ask him now.  
"You said both your parents were dead . What happened to you father?" Logan sat up and wiped his tear-streaked face with his sleeve. He sighed, interrupted by the remainders of his sobs.  
"He couldn't deal with my moms... death. He sold everything. His shares of my grandfather's business, our house, the cars, everything. He took me to uncle Jonas, telling me that he needed to be alone for some time. He told everyone that he was going to spend some days at the cabin." He paused and Max could se his jaw tighten up again. He drew a deep breath before he continued.   
"He never came back...."  
  
Max stared at him, mouth open, not believing what he had just said. This somehow was even worse than what he had told her before.   
"He left you??" The words escaped her mouth before she could hold them back.  
"I always hoped that he'd come back one day." Logan said in a toneless voice. "I never heard from him again. That's as good as dead, right!?!" he added sarcastically.  
Max took his hand again and started playing with his fingers. "I'm sorry Logan....For everything that happened.... Seems like you lost everything at the same age I finally got the chance to have a life. "  
Logan sniffled and nodded thoughtfully. He felt worn and tired. But somehow he also felt incredibly relieved.   
"You know, you are the first one to get the full story." He smirked and then coyly looked up at her .In his watery eyes Max could see a little spark of the determination she was used to see in them.  
"Good thing that life brought you here to Seattle." He said firmly.  
Max blushed and let go of Logan's hand. "Yeah...anyway, I'm glad you told me."  
"Well, I didn't have much of a choice, did I?" Logan said with a shy smile. When he saw Max' face fall he quickly added. "Just kidding. ...Thanks for listening, Max."   
"Anytime." Max replied and stood up from the couch. Now that the conversation was coming to an end, she somehow felt uncomfortable about the closeness it had created between them.   
"I'm gonna need something to eat now." She quickly said." You want something?" Logan transferred to his wheelchair. "Help yourself. I can eat something later. I think I really need a hot shower now." He wheeled towards the bathroom, but stopped dead in his tracks, when something came to his mind. He returned to the   
kitchen, where Max was just preparing a sandwich. "One more thing..." Max looked up startled.  
"Yeah?" "I'm sorry about the other night. I didn't mean to yell at you." Max nodded. "That's okay. I understand now you had your reasons." she said softly.   
  
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There you go people! This is the resolution. I'm not sure how or if to continue the story...but who knows...  
Please tell me what you think!  
  
Take care and thanks for reading! 


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